


Now’s The Time, The Time Is Now

by moosesshoe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Angelic Grace Bonds (Supernatural), Angelic Grace Play (Supernatural), Angelic Grace Sex (Supernatural), Angelic Grace-Powered Orgasms (Supernatural), Angry Castiel (Supernatural), Angry Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Dean Winchester, Castiel Saves Dean Winchester, Castiel Saves Dean Winchester From Hell, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel's Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Crying, Dean Winchester Has Panic Attacks, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester Likes It Rough, Dean Winchester in Hell, Depressed Dean Winchester, Destiel - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, Drunk Dean Winchester, Drunk Sex, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Sex, Hell, Homophobia, Homophobic John Winchester, Hospitals, Hurt Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, John Winchester Abuses Dean Winchester, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Kidnapped Dean Winchester, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Masturbation in Shower, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Oral Sex, Orgasm Denial, Original Character(s), Overstimulation, Past Abuse, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Sam Winchester, Raped Dean Winchester, Romantic Fluff, Rough Sex, Sad Dean Winchester, Sadism, Sex, Shower Sex, Sick Dean Winchester, Sick Sam Winchester, Suicidal Dean Winchester, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Torture, Tortured Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:20:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27366454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moosesshoe/pseuds/moosesshoe
Summary: "Now's The Time, The Time Is Now" is a Destiel fan fiction. Castiel and Dean are married, and live in the bunker with Sam, Gabriel, Jack, Mary, Rowena, Crowley, and Benny. This story takes place around Season 14, but God (Chuck) doesn't end up being evil. The Winchesters and their family friends get the happily ever after they've always wanted... Or do they? An unexpected guest shows up outside the bunker, and their apple pie life takes a turn. This is going to be a long story with tons of love and pain, so get ready for this journey with the Winchester family.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 9
Kudos: 104





	1. Chapter 1

~~~TW AND NOTES AT BOTTOM~~~  
  


Dean Winchester was _happy_. Him and the angel Castiel married over a year ago, Amara brought his mom back, and he finally got to settle down, thanks to Lucifer he even had a kid. Dean still did the occasional hunt, but other hunters could kill the remainder of the monsters. When Chuck and Amara left, many monsters had died. Some had gone completely extinct. It was the happiest Dean has been for years.. maybe ever. Still Dean suffered from PTSD, depression, and had panic attacks once in a while, but it was nothing compared to before. For once Dean was happy with his life. He married the love of his life, he had Sam and his mother, he had a son, and was surrounded by his dearest friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Babe.. Dean, baby wake up" Castiel whispered and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist.

"Mmmmhn.. five more minutes..." Dean cuddled in closer to Cas and pulled the blanket back up. Cas laughed softly, and gave in to Dean's begging. He raked his hands through Dean's short, brown hair coaxing him back into a light slumber.

"It's almost noon, so we need to get up in a few, ok?" Cas whispered so soft he wasn't sure Dean even heard him, but Dean got the message and nodded sleepily.

It had been thirty minutes instead of the planned five but Dean was finally ready to get up.

"Ugh.. okay we need to actually get up now.." Dean mumbled into Castiel's chest. A few moments later he pushed himself up then kissed Cas on the head before walking to the bathroom that was attached to their shared room. Once Castiel heard the water start running he got up and put on one of Dean's t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants. He combed his fingers through his hair to get rid of his bed hair, then sat back down on his and Dean's bed. Cas couldn't help smiling when he heard Dean singing "Since I've Been Loving You" in the shower, sure it was off-key but to Castiel it was perfect. He heard the water turn off and Dean came out with a towel around his waist. Dean went through their dresser looking for something to put on, he grabbed a dark green t-shirt, a pair of sweatpants, and his robe.

"We need to do some laundry" Dean chuckled as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"We can do some later, maybe we can go shopping too"

After he finished dressing, he brushed his teeth, dried his hair with the towel and combed it to its usual spot. Castiel got up from their bed and wrapped his arms around Dean and leaned against his back. Dean turned around and looked into his husband's bright blue eyes and kissed him.

"God, I love you" Dean said it so soft it was barely a whisper, Castiel kissed him back

"I love you" they just stared into each other's eyes for a few moments until they were interrupted by Dean's stomach growling loudly.

"I'm starving, let's go get some breakfast and see what everyone is up to babe." Dean and Cas left their room and went to the map room. Sam, Mary, and Jack were sitting at the table and Gabriel was leaning against a wall with a lollipop in his mouth.

"Mornin' lovers" he shoved the lollipop back into his mouth and started laughing. Dean just rolled his eyes because he was used to this after living with Gabe for a year.

"We thought you were never getting out of bed" Sam chuckled

"Yeah, yeah enough what's for breakfast?"

"There's some eggs and bacon in the kitchen" Jack got up from his chair and hugged Dean

"Dad! Sam taught me how to make breakfast"

"That's great Jack, I'm gonna go get some because I'm starving." Dean walked over to the kitchen, and Cas sat down at the table. Sam was on his laptop as usual and Mary was going through a lore book.

"What have you guys been doing this morning?" Sam closed his laptop and looked at Cas

"Well, uh mom was trying to help some hunters with a case, they think it's ghouls"

"And I was just looking for a case because we haven't been on a hunt in a while and I thought maybe we could"

"I will have to see if Dean is up for it, he's still having panic attacks and I don't want to make them worse"

"You guys can stay behin-" There was a loud crash in the kitchen that sounded like breaking glass. They got up quickly, to make sure everything was alright.

"Dean?" Sam and Cas said simultaneously

"Dad, what was that?" Jack whimpered. When the got into the kitchen everyone froze.

"D-Dad?" Sam saw Dean frozen in place, a broken plate scattered on the floor, and his _father._

Castiel could tell Dean was about to have a panic attack.

"John?" Mary stood in front of her husband, wide eyed and confused.

"Mary? You are alive? How?"

"Long story.. I could ask the same for you" and at that note John pulled Mary into a hug.

"I'm not sure I just woke up on the floor in this kitchen.." John spoke into Mary's hair.

Castiel walked over to Dean and led him out of the kitchen. Jack followed them.

Once Dean was out of John's sight he started to hyperventilate, his legs failed him and he fell to the ground but Cas caught him. He sobbed into Castiel's chest, and Cas picked him up.

"Pa, What's wrong with dad?" Dean passed out in Cas's arms so he walked over to the couch and laid with him.

"He had a panic attack"

"Is.. Is he ok?" Jack looked at his unconscious father in his other father's arms.

"Don't worry he will be fine, you should go get Sam." Jack walked back to the kitchen and John and Mary had sat down at the table in the kitchen with Sam.

"You've gotten big, son, you're taller than me now" John chuckled.

"So who is it you live with here? Hunters?" Sam's smile fell, because he knew how John would react to knowing who they really live with.

"Um.. Sam, Cas told me to come get you."

"Hey, Jack could you wait a minute?"

"Yeah.. just meet him in the library.." Jack was scared of John because of how Dean reacted when John came back. John looked around the room and realized that Dean was gone.

"Where'd Dean go?" John said. Sam looked around and realized Dean wasn't there, he was probably with Cas he thought.

"I'm not sure.. probably in the library or something. I'll go get him" Sam got up and walked to the library and found Cas and Dean on the couch, Dean was unconscious.

"Cas what happened?" He sat down on the leather recliner beside the couch.

"He had a panic attack, bigger than he's had in a long time, he passed out."

"We all need to talk, including Gabe, Crowley, Rowena, and Benny. They should be coming home any minute now.."

"Dean.. Dean, wake up" Cas nudged Dean slightly trying not to scare him. Dean opened him eyes and mumbled something that Sam or Cas didn't understand. After that he sat up more.

"Here's some water" Cas handed Dean a half full water bottle. Dean drank the water and they got up.

"Dean I know Dad being back is hard for you, but you need to stay calm because we all need to talk" Dean just nodded knowing he shouldn't protest because it was important to talk.

"Ok let's get everyone to come to the map room and we'll talk.." Dean was worried he'd have another panic attack but he just slipped his hand into his husband's and squeezed.

"Hello squirrel." Crowley, Rowena, and Benny appeared in the middle of the room, they just got back from Hell.

"How's Hell doing?" Sam said.

"Everything is in order, the demons are doing crossroads deals and that's all, other than that no demons are on Earth."

"Thanks Crowley, it's great that we can finally take a break." Sam smiled slightly.

"Now what's going on here?" Crowley paced the library

"So I guess Hell had nothing to do with it.."

"With what moose?"

"J-John is back" Dean refused to call John "Dad" since he was taking care of him and Sam most of the time.

"So I guess we have tons of talking to do.. don't we boys?" Rowena sighed.

John and Mary walked in and everyone sat down.

"So are y'all hunters?" John asked. Gabe and Crowley started laughing Rowena rolled her eyes and answered John's question.

"Not quiet.." Rowena said. Sam decided to explain for everyone, hoping John wouldn't get to mad.

"Well.. Rowena is an witch, Benny is a vampire, Crowley is the King of Hell.. also Rowena's son, Gabriel and Castiel are angels, and Jack is a nephilim, Lucifer's son." Sam explained. John looked pissed, which Sam and everyone expected.

"Also.. Castiel is my husband." Dean blurted out. Castiel and Dean held each other's hands tighter.

"Wow.. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BOYS!! MONSTERS?! AND ANGELS, HA THEY AREN'T EVEN REAL!!" John took a breath and calmed down a bit. Sam sat up straighter and was thinking of what to say next.

"Not everything is black and white like you taught us Dad. These so called 'monsters' are the best people we know.. they are our family.." Sam said.

"Family?! I'm your family, your mother!, not these abominations!" John yelled. Dean couldn't let John talk about his husband, his son, and his friends like this.

"Abominations huh, well AT LEAST THEY DIDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE AT FOUR WITH MY BABY BROTHER!! I had to be a dad and a mom for Sammy while you were to drunk to care!"

"I am your father, you will respect me boy.." John ordered.

"No! No, my father died in a house fire with my mother!! We left with some drill sargent that was too busy thinking about revenge to care about me, and Sammy" with that John got up, walked to Dean and knocked him out cold with one punch.

"What the hell dad?!" Sam was in shock, but Castiel he was furious. He grabbed John by the collar of his shirt and flung him across the room.

"Don't you dare lay another finger on my husband" he walked over to beat John some more

"Cas stop, Dean wouldn't want this.." Sam said. Castiel turned to his husband who was on the floor, a stream of blood coming from his nose. He got up and walked to Dean. He picked him up and held him close to his chest. Jack was so scared he hadn't said a word since John sat down. Gabriel, Benny, and Rowena were speechless as well. Crowley, well he wanted to tear John into a hundred pieces, but he remained seated for his best friend's sake. Mary looked at John.

"You have changed, you would've never hurt Dean, or Sam when I knew you.."

"He deserves it. He married a monster, he treats Lucifer's son as his own! What do you not get Mary? They poisoned his head, mind control or something.. He needs to snap out of it and kill these monsters like a real Winchester!"

"Can't you just except that he's finally happy? Are you that sick to tell your son to kill his husband, his kid, and basically everyone he loves?" Sam said. He had tears in his eyes now.

"I'm taking Dean to our room.. tell me if you need me" Castiel pulled Dean in closer and walked away. When Cas got inside their room he cleaned up Dean's bloody nose, then got

him out of his clothes. He laid Dean on their bed then took his clothes off too. After that he laid down and put his arms around Dean's middle. Dean snuggled in closer to Cas subconsciously. His head rested on Castiel's chest, and Cas ran his fingers through Dean's hair, which he did to calm Dean down.

"Don't worry, I would let anything happen to you.." Castiel whispered to his love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Panic attacks, anxiety, reference/inferred past abuse, abuse, and blood.
> 
> Notes: Thank you for reading chapter one! Leave kudos if you enjoyed, and I love to read your comments!!


	2. Chapter 2

It was two hours after Dean was knocked out by John. Everyone had left Dean and Cas alone since, so Castiel was just laying in bed with Dean as he slept. Cas heard a gentle knock on the door. He pulled the blanket up on him and Dean then proceeded to see who it was.

"Who is it?" Cas said loud enough for them to hear but not enough to wake up Dean.

"Uh.. it's Sam, can I come in?"

"Of course." Sam opened the door and sat on a chair in front of their desk.

"Mary took John to get groceries for dinner"

"Ok, do you know when they'll be back?"

"Probably in thirty minutes, give or take.. has Dean woke up at all yet?"

"No, we probably wake him should soon. We need to talk before John's back.."

"I agree, do you want me to leave?"

"Why would you need to do that?"

"Well uh.. you and Dean aren't exactly dressed.."

"Oh yeah.. my apologies. Just meet us in the library" Sam left their room and Cas sat up.

"Dean.. baby wake up." Dean stirred a bit then finally opened his eyes.

"Cas.. what time is it? I feel like I slept for days.."

"It's around six" Dean sat up, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and kissed his husband.

"Damn.. He hit me hard" he tried to joke but still was in a panicked state.

"Let's get dressed. Sam is waiting to talk to us in the library.."

"I-Is Da- John here?" Dean got up and looked for something to wear. He found an AC/DC shirt and jeans, there wasn't much since they never did laundry because John showed up.

"No, your mom and him went to get ingredients for dinner" Castiel just put on his clothes from earlier and they made their way to the library, where Sam was sitting.

"Hey, Sammy" They sat on the couch and Cas wrapped him arm around Dean's waist.

"Dean, you feelin' alright?" He observed the bruise starting to form on his jawline.

"Eh, I've had worse, and it's not the first time I've been hit by John.." Dean was abused by John throughout basically his whole life, mentally and physically. He was even put in the hospital a few times from him. He remembered the countless times he starved from John not giving them enough money for food, he got arrested for stealing bread and peanut butter when he was sixteen, and gave up the little food he had so Sam wasn't hungry. When Sam would mess up or disobey, John would beat Dean, of course Dean would never tell Sam this though. Even after that, Dean didn't want to lose his father, he's lost too many.

"I'm sorry Dean.. no one should've grown up how you did."

"It's not your fault.. hell, it's not even John's fault.. he was consumed in grief and did the best he could.." This was the only thing Dean could tell himself to not hate John.

"Even if you lose your wife you shouldn't beat your kid" Castiel said.

"I can agree with you there, but he's still my father.. I can't hate him, even when I try."

"Same.. I just wish we could make this work, he doesn't understand that not all monsters are bad.." Sam said sadly. They talked for a bit and John and Mary were now opening the bunker door and walking down the stairs with paper grocery bags. Dean turned away instantly trying not to make eye contact with John.

"Here mom, let me grab those, I'll start dinner with dad" Sam walked to Mary and took her bags then walked to the kitchen with John. Mary took Sam's spot beside Dean and Cas.

"We're just gonna make burgers.. how are you feeling Dean?"

"I'm fine, starving though.. haven't ate all day"

"Sam, can you start making the salad?" John ordered, just like the "good" old days.

"Sure.. I've got a question." Sam started taking out vegetables and grabbed a salad bowl.

"What is it son?" John grabbed out the beef and started forming patties.

"Can you at least give them a try? I know you don't like that they aren't human but it doesn't make them monsters.. they've saved the world with us.. more than once, they are good people. One thing you taught me was to trust your family, I trust them, mom trusts them, and Dean trusts them.. so can you please get to know them before making any assumptions?"

John was silent for a few moments and thought about what Sam said.

"Fine. I will have dinner with these... things, and 'get to know them' before call them monsters" he air quoted 'get to know' and sounded unconvincing but Sam didn't care.

"Thank you" Sam went over and hugged his father. John patted Sam's back a few times.

~~~Thirty minutes later~~~

Sam and John walked out of the kitchen with a bowl of salad, tray a burgers, beer, and pie.

"Let's dig in" Dean announced to the table full of his friends and family.

"Son, I'm sorry for being hard on you earlier.. I will try getting to know these friends of yours" John looked around at everyone having dinner with him. Dean was feeling better now that he ate and John didn't want to kill his family, he thought Maybe they could actually coexist and he could have his father again. Maybe John would like them once he knew them. But Dean knew how John was.. He had a bad feeling about this.

After they finished eating Mary, Crowley, and Rowena went to their rooms. Benny decided to take Jack to a local carnival. That left John, Sam, Cas, and Dean. John looked at Dean and that made Dean feel sick he quickly placed his hand on Cas's.

"Castiel, it was nice meeting you. Dean could you and me talk.. alone?" John added.

"Y-Yes Sir" Dean hated himself for stuttering.

"Let's go to the kitchen." Dean released his grip on Castiel's hand and got up. John followed him to the kitchen. Once they got in there Dean sat down and John insisted on making them drinks, _this couldn't go well_ he thought to himself. John poured whiskey into two cups and sat down, handing one to Dean. Despite the bad feeling in his gut he couldn't resist drinking the alcohol because of all the stress he was under from today. _Fuck_ Dean thought as his head started to feel fuzzy and his eyelids grew heavy. John put something in his drink.

"What did you do?" Dean slurred, then fell forwards onto the table. John picked Dean up and snuck out of the bunker. He drove in the front seat of the impala, Dean tossed in the back with his face pressed up against the cold leather. When Dean came to, he was tied to a chair in a motel, his dad on the bed.. drinking like always. Dean fought against his restraints but they would budge.

"Dad" Dean croaked. John got up and sat beside Dean.

"Finally you are awake." John said and quickly followed with a slap, Dean winced from the burning sensation.

"Wh-What was that for?"

"For failing me.. failing Sam.. I was furious when I found out he died.. multiple times."

"It's. all. your. fault." He said in between slaps to Dean's face.

"D-Dad stop.. please" Dean whimpered as he felt himself start to panic.

"You, me, Sam, and Mary can finally be happy.. just leave those monsters and we can be together again" Dean's eyes widened in shock. _No no no!_ He wanted to yell, but he knew that'd only get him in the hospital. So he sat there trying to conceal his panic attack, as his father told him to hurt the ones he loved. He clamped his eyes shut and tried praying to Cas.

_Cas. Dad drugged and kidnapped me, I'm in some motel.. please help me Cas.._

Dean whimpered "Cas" accidentally. John's eyes filled with hatred, then he scoffed.

"Oh you won't be able to pray for your monster husband to save you.. I snuck a lore book on angels from that handy library, and drew some sigils so you can't reach him" Dean glanced at the wall where sigils were painted. Now he started to hyperventilate and shake. His father was _crazy_.

"Now for my plan.. sadly I couldn't figure out how to kill angels, but I have a plan to split you apart.." Dean shook his head no as tears fell down his cheek.

"You- You will never split-t us.. I love him!" John held a knife to Dean's throat.

"Drink this.. then take these." John handed him a bottle of whiskey and three mystery pills.

Dean didn't want John to hurt him anymore so he just did as he was told. Dean felt himself starting to drift, his limbs growing heavy. John untied him, took his shirt off, following his jeans and threw him on the single motel bed. Dean passed out, and John removed the sigils on the wall, took his stuff, and left, locking the door behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Castiel, it was nice meeting you. Dean could you and me talk.. alone?" John added. John and Dean just left the map table to go to the kitchen and talk. Castiel was worried Dean would have another panic attack. He heard quiet mumbling, but couldn't make out what was being discussed. Then silence.. more silence. Cas and Sam looked at each other, then both got up and went to the kitchen. John and Dean were _gone_.

"Dean?" Castiel was immediately worried and started to panic.

"Cas. They left a note" Sam handed a small piece of paper to the angel. It looked like Dean's handwriting, but something seemed _off_ about it.

_Dear Cas and Sam,_

_Dad and I went to a bar to talk. Not sure when we'll be back so don't wait up._

_-Dean_

"Why didn't he just come tell us?" Cas still had a bad feeling.

"Maybe our dad didn't want to.. you know he still isn't too excited about our family, Dean probably just thought it'd be less of a hassle to leave a note."Sam rationalized

"I'm gonna go to bed.. so tired" Sam said quietly and walked off. Cas cleaned up the mess from dinner and shortly after Jack and Benny were back. Jack immediately ran to Cas greeting him with a big hug.

"Hey Pa! Look what I won!" Jack held up a stuffed lion with a gummy smile on his face.

"I love it, so you had fun?"

"Yes, a lot!! Where's dad?" Jack look around the room.

"He went out with John, he will be back later." Jack nodded then yawned.

"You should go to bed, you look exhausted."

"Ok. Can you read me a story?" Jack and Cas walked to Jack's room.

"Of course" Cas read a book to Jack and left the room quietly when Jack fell asleep.

It had been over an hour and Dean wasn't back so Cas decided to go rest his eyes in their room while he waited for Dean. _Another hour went by. Then two. Dean wasn't back._

Cas was now worried that something had happened. Maybe a monster got them, or they got in a car wreck.. Dean had been drinking. Cas called one of Dean's numbers. _Voicemail_. He tried another. _Voicemail_. Every phone he called went to voicemail. Something had to be wrong. Just as Cas was about to leave and search the ends of the earth for Dean, he got a prayer. _Cas, I hope you're listening.. I-I don't know where I am, or what happened.. I don't remember anything. Please come Cas._ It wasn't another minute till Castiel flew to Dean's location. Dean looked _horrible_. He was pale except for the dark circles under his eyes, and clearly had been drinking.. _a lot._ Cas exhaled from relief.

"Dean, are you ok?"

"I'm fine.. I just feel like crap" Cas came to sit beside Dean then froze. _No it- it couldn't be_ he thought as pain washed over him. He knelt down and picked up a pair of red panties and threw them at Dean.

"Explain Dean! This.. This can't be what I think.." Cas was furious.. but Dean remained silent as he tried to remember what happened.. he thought so hard but he couldn't remember.

"Did you cheat on me?!" Cas yelled with tears forming in his eyes.

"No! This.. This isn't what you think!"

"Well these aren't yours and last time I checked motels didn't come with lingerie! Tell me what happened!!"

"I-I don't know.." is all Dean could say because he had no clue what had happened.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Cas walked over and hit Dean. Castiel was not good at expressing his emotions and normally ended up hitting someone or something.

"I can't!.. _punch_ ..believe!.. _punch_ ..you!" Castiel punch Dean in the face and ribs multiple times before backing up. Even after what he did he didn't want to hurt Dean..

"W-We're done-e" Castiel sobbed and before Dean could say another word Cas was _gone_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse, Referenced Past Abuse, Drugged, Kidnapped, Injured, Non-Con Bondage, and Forced Drug and Alcohol Consumption. Probably more but I can’t think of anything else..
> 
> Thank you for reading!! Comments are always appreciated (just use constructive criticism if you dislike anything please), and thank you for leaving kudos!


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel went back to the bunker. He appeared in the kitchen and started smashing everything in reach, he forgot that other people lived in the bunker and jumped when Gabriel walked in with his angel blade in hand, he lowered it after seeing no visible threats.

"Cassy what.. what's wrong?" Castiel stopped breaking things and fell to the floor and sobbed

"D-Dean.. Dean che-cheated on m-me" Gabe walked to Cas and hugged him.

"That piece of shit.. it's ok.. he doesn't deserve you anyways." Castiel calmed down but was still crying and shaking. Sam sleepily walked in to see what was going on, he woke up instantly when he saw Castiel and Gabe on the floor, Cas crying.

"What happened? Cas are you ok?"

"Dean-n... he cheated on me." Sam's face changed from worry to anger in that second.

"He.. he did what?! I can't believe him!" Sam was now helping Cas up and hugging him.

"I'm so, so sorry Cas.. Dean shouldn't have done that to you.."

"I.. I'm going to leave for a while.. I need some time alone"

"Yeah.. yeah I understand.. take care Cas.." Sam patted Castiel's back and then Castiel disappeared once again. Castiel went to a diner to clear his head.. but Dean after Cas left he went to a bar. He had been drinking since and was extremely drunk. Then he got an _amazing_ idea.. well to him it was.

Dean was back at that same motel he woke up in. He was at the small desk. He had wrote notes for all of his family. He sealed the nine envelopes and went to the bathroom.

He sat on the floor and looked at the bottle of pills he held. He felt that he didn't deserve to live anymore after what he had done to Castiel. Even though he wrote notes, he felt that he owed Sam more, so he pulled out his phone and dialed Sam's number. Sam didn't answer till the third call.

"Dean?" Dean tried to answer but he couldn't form words.

"Dean?!" Dean froze while trying think of what to say to his brother for the last time.

"I-I'm here"

"What the hell man? Why?" No.. no Sam couldn't know.. could he?

"Wh-Why what?"

"Why did you hurt Cas you bastard!?!"

"I- uh" he was speechless, he had never heard Sam this angry, even after Gadreel, Sam wasn't this mad.

"I'm.. I'm sorry"

"No! You don't get to be sorry Dean!" Before Dean said something Sam had hung up.

Dean took the _whole_ bottle of tempting capsules and drank the rest of the whiskey. He sent Sam a text as he started to _die_.

_Goodbye Sammy._

_I'm sorry.. I will always be sorry._

Once Sam got those texts he knew _something was wrong._ He called Dean. _Voicemail_. He tried five more times and they all went to voicemail. He tracked Dean's phone to a motel six minutes away. He took one of the cars in the bunker's garage. He got there in four minutes. Dean didn't answer when he knocked. He picked the lock, but Dean wasn't in the bedroom. He ran to the bathroom door and tried to open it. It was locked too. He kicked the door down and saw Dean, on _the floor_ with a frothy liquid leaking from the side of his mouth. He was pale and thin as a _sheet_. Dean felt _so_ cold, and was shaking.

"What the hell did you do?!" Sam pulled Dean's head to his chest. Dean coughed and more liquid came from his mouth. He gasped fighting to give his lungs air.

"SS-Sammyy" Dean slurred weakly. Sam was here so everything was _ok_. His eyelids grew heavy and he started to close them.

"Nononono.. Dean stay awake" Dean heard Sam's voice but it sounded so far away. He felt himself start to drift and he only he bits of what Sam was saying. He was on the phone.

"H-He took the whole bottle..... uh I don't know... oxy- ..... done" Dean closed his eyes.

He felt Sam's warmth and he felt safe.. the darkness started to consume him as his whole body went numb.

"Dean stay with me!" Dean felt large fingers stuck down his throat and he threw up.

Undissolved pills came up. Sam kept making him throw up till there was nothing left. Dean could barely hear or feel anything but he heard other voices that were muffled. But that didn't matter. Sam was there. He was safe. He let his body go boneless.

"DEAN! Stay wi....." Dean couldn't hear Sam anymore and he let unconsciousness claim him.

Several EMTs where around them now. They moved Sam out of the way and lifted Dean onto a gurney. Dean had a oxygen mask on and they pushed him out putting him into the ambulance. Sam got a ride to the hospital because he was in no condition to drive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean felt himself starting to regain consciousness. He opened his eyes and found himself in a hospital bed with oxygen mask and multiple IVs in his arm. Sam was sitting at the table. He looked a mess, probably hasn't slept. He hung up his phone. Then he realized Dean was up.

"D-Dean? How are you feeling?" He tried to talk but his throat was dry and burning. Sam got up and handed him a plastic cup of water. Dean pulled down the mask and drank the water.

"Do you need me to get someone?" Dean shook his head no.

"Why.. why did you try to kill yourself Dean?" Sam's voice broke.

"I- I didn't deserve to live.. I don't deserve to.." Dean looked down at his hands avoiding Sam's tear filled hazel eyes.

"Even after what you did to Cas.... it-it doesn't mean you deserve to die Dean.." Sam was now hugging his brother. Dean tried to sit up a bit and winced.

"Careful.. they had to break a few ribs performing CPR on you"

"Does he know?" Sam's face fell a bit.

"Don't you think he'd be here if I told him?" But sadly Sam knew the answer Dean was going to say. Dean looked away again.. at the window this time.

"Why would he be.. I did this."

"Dean what happened? You-You love him.. I know you do, you two love each other more than anyone I know.. I don't understand why you'd do this to him.."

"I..." it was time to come clean and admit he had no idea what happened.

"I don't remember.. what happened" Sam sat back down.

"What do you mean?"

"That w-whole night is just blank. I woke up in a motel, prayed to Cas because I didn't know where I was. He found some chicks underwear on the floor... then left before I could explain."

"Why can't I remember.. how could I have given consent if what happened had happened? I wouldn't have done that. I.. I couldn't have, I love Cas too much." Dean was now crying.

"Tell Cas that.. I will call him and I know he will come. He can help you remember." Sam looked at his brother. He was pale and had dark circles under his eyes.

"How about you rest.. you look exhausted" Dean nodded then mumbled to Sam.

"I'm sorry Sammy" Then he fell asleep. Sam dialed Castiel's number and he didn't answer. Sam called again.

"Cas.. please pick up.." Once again Cas didn't answer. Sam was about to put his phone down when Castiel called back.

"Sam... Is.. everything alright?" Sam fell silent when he remembered how hurt Cas was.

"Sam you're starting to worry me.. are you there?"

"Uh.. uh yes.. I'm here"

"Why did you call Sam?"

"Can you meet me... and Dean at Smith County Memorial Hospital?"

"Why.. is D- are one of you hurt?"

"We're fine.. you just really need to talk with Dean"

"I- I can't.. I don't want to hurt him.. when found out.. I started punching him... I was so angry and couldn't handle my emotions.."

"It's ok.. Dean forgives you.. I'm just not sure he forgives himself.."

"What- What do you mean? It was his decision that loving me wasn't enough.."

"Dean tried to kill himself." Sam blurted out.

"H-He-He what-t.. is he ok?!"

"I got there in time.. he-he said he didn't deserve to live after what he did.." Cas was crying

"Oh, Dean..of-of course he does.. this is all my fault-t"

"No Cas it's not.. but he needs you right now. I don't want to speak for him but.. he said he remembered nothing from last night.. he said the last thing he could think of was dinner.."

"I-I will be there soon.." Castiel hung up. Almost immediately after he got a call from Mary.

"Um.. hey Mom"

"Sam.. where are you? When I got up you, Dean, Cas, and Gabe were gone. John said you probably just went to get breakfast, but you still weren't back.. did you guys go on a hunt or something?" Sam cleared his throat.. once he told her the word would be out and everyone would know. Even if he didn't want to tell her, he did it anyway because she was their mom.

"We.. we are at the hospital. Dean tried to commit suicide." He heard Mary gasp then sob.

"Is Dean ok?" He heard a voice say _Mary what's wrong?_ It was Jack.

"He's fine.. just has a couple broken ribs.. and he will feel off for a few days while the drugs leave his system."

"What happened? Why?"

"He cheated on Cas.. but I'm not sure that's actually what happened.. he doesn't remember anything since dinner last night.. where's dad?"

"He came home last night.. he's making us coffee right now."

"Well ask him if he knows what happened last night.. I'll talk to you soon"

Castiel was at the hospital now. Sam never told him what room they were inside so he went to the front desk.

"Welcome to Smith County Memorial Hospital how may I help you Sir?"

"I'm here to see my husband."

"Ok, what's his name?"

"Dean. Dean Winchester" the lady typed into her computer and clicked a file.

"Ok.. he was admitted this morning, he is in room two thirty-three. Fill out this visitor's pass and you can go see Dean." She handed a slip of paper to Cas along with a blue pen. He filled it out then walked to the elevator. When he made his way to Dean's room his heart started to race. What was he going to say? What if what happened wasn't what happened? He did say he didn't remember. Castiel made it to Dean's room and softly knocked on the door.

"Cas.. hi" Sam said while letting him in. Dean looked absolutely horrible. He was pale, thinner then usual, and had bruises on his face.. presumably from when Castiel beat him up.. _Oh God. I did this to him..my baby._ Cas thought as a tear fell down his cheek.

"Dean fell asleep before I called you.. he should be up soon. Then we need to talk." Cas sat beside Dean and intertwined his fingers through Dean's. Dean's hand was cold and bony, rather than the warm, thick hand he was used to. A few minutes later Dean started to open his eyes. They shot open when he felt a warm hand in his. It was Cas. His husband.

"C-Cas?" Dean started to cry and hyperventilate. Castiel immediately backed up. He felt tears starting to form in his eyes too. He was causing his love to have a panic attack.

 _Maybe I am a monster._ He thought. Sam was trying to calm him down while Cas froze.

"Hey, hey Dean calm down.. you're alright. Cas is here. I told you he'd come" Dean was still sobbing but his breathing seemed to slow a bit.

"I-I.. I'm so sorry Cas" Dean looked completely broken.

"Why-why didn't you tell me you don't remember.."

"I knew what it looked like.. and I-I didn't know what happened.. I can't see you hurt.. it's the worst thing I've ever seen... and I couldn't deal with being the one that cau-caused it.."

"We don't know that.. not really. I should've stayed, and helped you remember"

"I don't blame you.. I understand why you left.. and I won't blame you if you decide to leave after helping me remember what happened." Castiel came closer to Dean, he kissed him on his head then placed two fingers on his forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Drug Consumption, Graphic Suicide Description, and Depression.  
> Sorry if I left anything out..
> 
> Once again, thank you tons if you are reading my book! Sorry for the sad chapter.. and cliffhanger.  
> Leave kudos if you enjoyed!! :)  
> Comments are always appreciated. (Constructive Criticism if you disliked)
> 
> Next update: November 6th


	4. Chapter 4

~~~TW AND NOTES AT BOTTOM~~~  
  


  
Castiel came closer to Dean, he kissed him on his head then placed two fingers on his forehead.

_They were back at the bunker._

_Dean released his grip on Castiel's hand and got up. John followed him to the kitchen._

_Dean sat down._

" _I could use a drink" John said._

_John poured whiskey into two cups and sat down, handing one to Dean._

_Dean drank it._

_"What did you do?" Dean slurred, then fell forwards onto the table._

_John picked Dean up and snuck out of the bunker._

_In a flash, they were in the impala._

_John drove in the front seat of the impala, Dean tossed in the back._

_Another flash. Now they were in the motel room._

_Dean was tied to a chair in a motel._

_John was on the bed drinking._

_Dean fought against his restraints but they would budge._

_"Dad" Dean croaked._

_John got up and sat beside Dean._

_"Finally you are awake." John said and quickly followed with a slap._

_"Wh-What was that for?"_

_"For failing me.. failing Sam.. I was furious when I found out he died.. multiple times."_

_"It's. all. your. fault." He said in between slaps to Dean's face._

_"D-Dad stop.. please" Dean whimpered._

_"You, me, Sam, and Mary can finally be happy.. just leave those monsters and we can be together again" Dean's eyes widened._

_He clamped his eyes shut._

_Dean whimpered "Cas"._

_"Oh you won't be able to pray for your monster husband to save you.. I snuck a lore book on angels from that handy library, and drew some sigils so you can't reach him"_

_The wall had sigils painted on them._

_Dean was hyperventilating and shaking._

_"Now for my plan.. sadly I couldn't figure out how to kill angels, but I have a plan to split you apart.."_

_Dean shook his head no as tears fell down his cheek._

_"You- You will never split-t us.. I love him!"_

_John held a knife to Dean's throat._

_"Drink this.. then take these." John handed him a bottle of whiskey and three mystery pills._

_Dean as he was told._

_John untied him, took his shirt off, following his jeans, and threw him on the single motel bed._

_Dean passed out_

_Now John was searching through his bag_

_He pulled out the pair of panties Cas had found earlier_

_He tossed them on floor near the bed._

_"Your angel is gonna be pissed" John laughed._

_John removed the sigils on the wall, took his stuff, and left, locking the door behind him._

Dean and Cas opened their eyes. Castiel's blue eyes were filled with tears.

"I-I.. I'm so sorry Dean.. I should've k-known you w-wouldn't cheat."

"No.. No it's ok... I understand.. I would've been angry too. I forgive you" Dean kissed Cas.

"What'd you see?" Sam was very confused. Castiel walked over placing two fingers on Sam.

"I'm gonna kill John! He lied to us!" Sam was furious. Dean's eyes widened in fear.

"W-We need to go home.. John is there with Jack, Crowley, Benny, and Rowena.. what if he does something t-to them" Dean tried to get up then winced. Damn broken ribs.

"Let me heal you" Before Dean could accept or protest he was being healed.

"I can't fix what the drugs have done.. sorry" Dean looked away in embarrassment, he felt really dumb for trying to kill himself once he realized he did nothing wrong.

"Let's go" Sam said. Castiel placed his hands on Sam and Dean then they appeared at the bunker. Everyone was sitting at the table. _Except John._

"You're back." Mary said and let out a sigh of relief.

"How are you feeling, brotha?" Benny said while hugging Dean.

"Better now.. I'm sorry guys."

"It's ok Dad.. all that matters is that you are better." Jack said while he came to hug Dean.

Crowley started to laugh. Everyone looked at him wondering what was funny about this.

"Nice Scooby Doo underwear, Dean" Crowley laughed and Dean started to blush.

"Wha- Damn hospital gowns.." he tried to cover his behind as he walked to his and Cas's room. He changed into a pair of sweatpants and put on a hoodie, because he was cold. He walked back out to find Sam and Cas with shocked expressions on their faces.

"What'd I miss?"

"Your father tried to killed Benny" Castiel said.

"He what?! That son of a bitch.. where is he?" Dean yelled.

"We locked him in the dungeon.. should hold him, it held me.. remember?" Crowley said. Dean started walking to the dungeon. Castiel and Sam followed. When they got in the dungeon, John was gone.

"Where is he?!" Dean was furious, his horrible father who tried to split him and his husband up, who drugged him, and kidnapped him was _gone_.

"Let's go check security cameras. He couldn't have gotten too far.." They went to the control room and looked at the cameras.

"Around what time did you put him in there, Crowley?"

"It was less than an hour ago, basically soon as he was locked up you came home"

Dean rewinded the dungeon's security camera to one hour ago. They watched John pick his handcuffs, pry open the door, sneak out of the dungeon and to the garage. Sam hacked the traffic cams to see where John went.

"John drove to a motel.. near the one Dean was in" Sam said while closing his laptop.

"Let's go" Dean said

"Dean you're staying here, you need rest and you still have drugs in your system" Castiel demanded. Cas was very protective of Dean and he was the only one Dean would listen to.

"But- ...fine" Dean pouted. He stumbled a bit while walking to the dungeon and felt dizzy, so it was probably best if he didn't go because it would make getting John more difficult.

“Go try to sleep.. we will bring back food” Cas said and kissed Dean

“Be careful, I love you” Dean whispered to Castiel. Dean walked to their room and laid down, after three minutes he was asleep. The others got their gear and left to get John, Benny decided to stay behind to make sure Dean was safe. They arrived at the motel and picked John’s motel lock. John was passed out drunk on the floor.

“Well that was easy” Crowley said jokingly. Cas walked over and picked John up draping him over his back.

“Let’s go back to the bunker” They appeared in the bunker and Cas chained him up. Gabriel agreed to watch him so he didn’t escape again.

“I forgot to get Dean some food, I’ll be back” Castiel said and Sam grabbed the sleeve of his trench coat stopping him.

“I can go get it, go lay down with Dean, and call me if John wakes up” Sam said. Cas nodded and walked to his and Dean’s room. Dean was asleep on the bed, sheets tangled around his legs. Castiel took off his dress clothes and changed into a pair of grey sweatpants. He slipped into the bed, and cuddled with Dean. Dean was lightly snoring, and Cas could feel his heartbeat, a calming rhythm beneath his ear. He kisses Dean’s forehead, and brings him closer to his chest. He strokes his hair softly, trying to not wake him. They stayed like that for a while. Dean asleep in the angel’s strong hold, Castiel rested his eyes enjoying the warmth and comfort of his husband. Dean woke up, sleepy looking, with messy hair. He looks into Cas’s brilliant blue eyes. Cas stares back, in awe at how lucky he was to have Dean Winchester as his husband. Cas and Dean just looked into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, before Dean placed a hand on the angel’s cheek, and kissed Castiel. He quickly melted into the kiss, feeling heat rise up to his cheeks.

“I love you” Castiel whispered to Dean. A smile painted across Dean’s face.

“No chick flick moments” Dean said softly.

“You love chick flicks” Cas giggled and Dean’s face turned a beautiful shade of scarlet.

“You know me too well.. I love you too angel” Dean kissed Castiel again, this time longer and deeper. “God, I love you so much” Dean whispered into the angel’s ear. Cas pulled away and just stared at Dean’s body. Dean should’ve felt exposed, but he felt _safe.. loved_. Because it was Cas, his husband, an angel of the lord. He felt like the luckiest person in the world when Castiel looked at him. He felt the outline of the angel’s length against the back of his thigh.

“I need you” Dean whimpered. Well he would argue and say it wasn’t a whimper if Cas brought it up, but he knew Castiel wouldn’t make fun of him.

“Tell me what you want” Cas said in a deep gravely voice, it was soft, sexy and it always made Dean squirm. Castiel sucked a mark onto Dean’s collarbone. Dean could barely think.

“Y-You in... inside me” Cas pushed Dean down onto his back and straddled his thigh.

“Ok honey.. I’d give you anything and _everything_ if I could” Castiel said while peppering Dean’s neck with kisses, leaving marks all over. Castiel got up to grab lube from the dresser and stripped the remainder of his clothes.

"Cas," Dean groaned softly as the touch of a large hand slid over his body. Every place Castiel touched, he ached for more. Soon, the hand stopped in a particular place and his stomach rolled. He desperately wanted more. Dean released another lustful moan as the hand began move. The angel slicked his length with lube, making Dean unconsciously lick his lips.

Cas lined his cock up, pressing the blunt head gently to Dean’s entrance,

“Ready?” Castiel asked. Dean nodded and shortly after Cas pushed his length in all the way until he bottomed out. He took a moment for Dean to get used to the full feeling until Castiel started moving. He went sweet and slow before thrusting fast and rough that drew a yelp of surprise and pleasure from Dean.

“Cas! So fucking good” Dean moaned into the angel’s shoulder.

“Faster... please faster” Dean shouted while Castiel destroyed his tight hole making sure that he couldn’t walk normal for a week. Dean came first moaning Castiel’s name, well, tried to but he couldn’t even speak a coherent word. Soon after Cas came, continuing to thrust through his orgasm and filling Dean up with his cum. Both men laid there catching their breath and coming down from their highs. Dean must’ve blacked out, because when he came to, Castiel and him were cleaned up and under the blankets.

“That was...” Dean trailed off in thought.

“Amazing” Castiel sighed, finishing Dean’s sentence. Dean giggled and kissed Cas.

“That’s an understatement” Dean said with a fat smile across his face. The couple laid in bed cuddling for a while until they heard a soft knock at the door, causing Dean to jump.

“Hey, uh I’m back with dinner..” Sam said through the door.

“Ok Sammy, We’re coming!” Dean yelled out to his brother. They heard Sam snicker.

“TMI dude!” Sam laughed and walked away. Dean rolled his eyes and Cas just did his adorable head tilt that he does when he is confused.

“Let’s go eat, babe” Dean got up and slipped into black sweatpants. He slightly limped to the dresser for a shirt, luckily Sam did laundry for them.

“Do you want me to heal you Dean? I uh.. didn’t mean to.. be so rough, sorry”

“No, I like the feeling, and never be sorry for that” Dean smirked, then threw a outfit at Cas to change into. Castiel got up and changed. Before they left the room Dean pulled the angel into a kiss. “I love you so god damn much, Cas”

“I love you, honey” Cas kissed back. Then opened the bedroom door.

Sam brought burgers for everyone and a salad for him himself, and he didn’t forget the pie for once. John was still passed out in a spare bedroom and Gabe was watching him.

“You sleep well Dean?” Mary asked Dean.

“Yeah.. more than I’ve got in a while” Dean ate his burger then three.. or four slices of pie. Dean reached over the get another slice of pie when Sam stopped him.

“Dean, I think you’ve had enough, you’re like ninety percent pie now” everyone started to laugh, well except Dean, he just sat there his face turning a bright shade of crimson. He wouldn’t admit it but he already was regretting eating all that pie, and felt like throwing it up.

After dinner everyone went back to their rooms to settle down for the night. Dean took off his shirt and laid down. Castiel went to put Jack to bed, so Dean decided to rest his eyes while waiting for Cas. When the angel came back to their room Dean was asleep. Cas frowned then undressed and slipped beside Dean in bed, trying not to wake him up. He cuddled with Dean and watched him sleep. Castiel enjoyed watching Dean sleep because that was one of the only times he’d looked peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Past abuse/kidnapping, non-con drug use, and sex
> 
> Notes: ahhh sorry I didn’t post this sooner!! Hopefully you like this chapter. I put some smut in there and gave them a break (for now). Some interesting stuff is to come!! Good and bad.. 
> 
> Like always, comments are appreciated I love to hear your feedback!  
>   
> Leave kudos if you enjoy the story so far!! (Sorry if you don’t)
> 
> Next update: November 17th


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven’t posted a chapter in like forever I couldn’t get into my account, finally got it back! :)

Dean's warm back is curled against Castiel's stomach. Cas holds a firm hand against Dean's stomach and watches the ceiling.

"G'morning" Dean mumbled sleepily, startling Cas. He didn't know Dean was up.

"How long have you been up honey?" His blue eyes met Dean's green

"Not long" Dean whispered. Cas placed gentle kisses on his hairline, and rubbed his shoulder. Cas thought Dean seemed warmer than usual.

"You are very warm." Dean sat up a bit and looked at Cas.

"I'm fine.. it's just hot in here" Dean quietly argued, he was still trying to wake up.

"I'll go turn the air on and get you some water" Cas kissed Dean's head again and went to the kitchen. He turned the air on, even though he thought it wasn't hot, and got Dean a glass of water. He came back to their room and got a better look at Dean. He was pale and sweaty, _perhaps he is coming down with something_ Castiel thought. He felt Dean's head again.

"Baby you're burning up." He gave Dean the glass of water, and grabbed some advil from the nightstand. Dean immediately shook his head no and pushed Cas's hand away.

"I don't need medicine I'm fin-" Dean was cut short by a coughing fit. Dean shrugged.

"Ok.. maybe I've got a cold or something." Dean took the pills and laid back down.

"I'm going to go to the store and get some stuff"

"Can you get som- _Hhe'ETSSSCHHT! Hhhh'ehh...ICKSTXHTUuhh!_ " Dean bent over and convulsed with coughs.

"Soup p-please" Dean said. Cas made a list of supplies, and left. Dean went back to bed.

"Have either of you talked to Dean or Cas today?" Sam asked Mary and Jack. Mary shook her head. "No, I think they're still sleeping" Jack said. Sam went to their room and knocked quietly. No one answered so he opened the door. Dean was asleep on the bed. Pale and drenched in sweat. He looked horrible. Castiel wasn't there, maybe he was in the bathroom.

"Hey, Dean. You.. uhh alright?" Dean stirred in the bed the shot up, quickly realizing it was only his brother. "Sammy? What are you doing in here?" Dean mumbled.

"I came to check on you guys.. Where's Cas?"

" _He-Hhe'ETSSSCHHT!_ went to the stor- _Huh'EKXCHTUuh!_ " Dean sneezed.

"Dude are you sick?" Sam said. Dean shook his head feverishly.

"I'm not- _Heh'KKSCHHTTu!_ Son of a bitch!"

"Yeah you are.. I'm going to get a thermometer" before Dean could say anything Sam left.

Dean laid back down and closed his eyes, _maybe I can just sleep it off_.. Dean thought. He didn't want to admit how horrible he actually felt.

Sam came back with a thermometer, orange juice, and a cold washcloth.

"Dean you need to sit up so I can take your temperature, you can lay backdown after."

Dean sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed. Sam put the thermometer in his mouth. Dean winced from the cold metal in his mouth. _Beep. Beep. 103.7°F_

"Damnit Dean.. we need to bring down this fever" Sam put the cloth on his head.

"That's c-cold" Dean took it off of his head, Sam just put it right back on, holding it in place.

"You have to keep it on Dean.. you'll get worse" There was a distinct flutter of wings.

"Hello Sam, is Dean any better?" Cas set the two grocery bags on the desk in their room.

"I can s-spea- Hhe'ETSSSCHHT! for myself, and I'm f-fine"

"No you're not. Here let me help" Castiel placed two fingers on Dean's sweaty forehead, then pulled them away. He looked at them in confusion.

"What's wrong Cas?" Sam said, turning to the angel.

"It's strange.. I can't heal him, I don't know what's wrong" Castiel said

"Great.. last t-thing I wanted wa- _Hhhh'ehh...ICKSTXHTUuhh!_ was to be s-sick"

"We can figure out why your mojo isn't working later, we need to take care of Dean his fever is already at a _104°F_ and he's getting worse"

"I'm going to start a cold shower, get him some medicine" Sam told Cas. Dean got in the shower and winced from the cold water hitting his flushed skin. Castiel got some flu medicine and gatorade for Dean and set them on the nightstand. He heard the water turn off, and Dean came out and laid down on their bed, immediately Cas came to check his temperature.

"You're still very hot. Sam do you have the thermometer?"

"Yeah, Dean open up so I can take your temperature" Sam told Dean. He shook his head.

"No... I don't wanna" Dean whined and crossed his arms.

"Stop acting like a child and let me take your damn temperature Dean" Sam said.

Dean opened his mouth and mumbled in pain on the metal object. _Beep. Beep. 104.9°F_

"Cas, I don't know what to do his fever is even worse than before"

"I can't heal him but maybe I can cool his body down.." Castiel placed his glowing hands on Dean's shoulders.. they waited for something to happen, but nothing did.

"I feel... something.. something is off" Castiel said to Sam, Dean was in a feverish haze.

"What do you mean Cas?" Sam said.

"A spell, or something else has been placed so I can't use my grace"

"Who-" Sam cut himself off when Dean groaned in pain.

"Dean it's ok.. shhhh.. Sam go get Rowena, or uh Gabriel.. Jack, just get somebody" Cas said.

Sam left the bedroom and Cas sat beside Dean. Dean felt worse than before, it hurt to breathe, his head felt like it was going to explode, his body felt heavy, and he was shivering .

He heard a voice talking to him and felt a body beside him but he couldn't tell who it was.

"Dean?" Castiel said to Dean. Dean didn't respond, he just moaned in pain.

"Dean, can you hear me?" Cas repeated. He shook him lightly trying to get a response.

"No! D-Do-Don't hurt m-me!" Dean begged, he started to cry.

"Dean it's me, Castiel.. I'm not going to hurt you honey" Castiel said.

"P-Please Alastair, no more.. no m-more" Dean cried to Castiel. The angel froze.

Dean thought he was with Alastair. He thought he was still in Hell.

"No, Dean.. Alastair is dead, I saved you from Hell remember?" Castiel said.

"Ok I got Rowena and Jack- Dean are you ok?!" Sam said.

"I think he's hallucinating, he thinks he is still in Hell with Alastair"

"Let me see if I can help" Jack said. He place two fingers on Dean's head.

"I-It's not working.. why isn't it working?" Jack said to the others.

"It won't work. Someone placed a spell on us, our powers are useless" Rowena said.

"Who would do this?" Jack said. Sam and Cas looked at each other the back to Jack.

"John" Sam said. This made Dean freak out even more. He started yelling loudly.

"I think we should take him to a doctor.." Castiel said.

"Go get your car started, I will help Dean up." Sam said. Dean continued to hallucinate.

Sam picked him up like he weighed nothing then followed Castiel to his car. Dean felt even hotter than before. Sam hoped he wouldn't get what Dean has.

"What's wrong with Dean?" Mary said worriedly.

"He's really sick, and no one can heal him, so we are taking him to the hospital" Sam said.

"Do you want me to come, or do anything?" Mary said to Sam.

"Can you stay here and keep an eye on John, and Jack?" Sam said.

"Of course.. call me when you find out what's wrong with Dean ok?"

"I will" Sam said. Dean started to shiver more, and he started closing his eyes.

"Hey, hey Dean try to stay awake, we are going to a doctor" Sam said to Dean. Sam carried Dean to Cas's car, the one that Dean liked to call the 'pimpmobile'. Castiel already started it and was waiting inside. Sam opened the door to the backseat and laid Dean down. They drove to the nearest hospital. Dean fell asleep in the backseat.

"Dean wake up we are at a hospital" Sam said.

"Dean" Sam shook him lightly but he didn't wake.

"I'll carry him in" Castiel said, then picked up Dean.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They took Dean into the emergency room and he was diagnosed with pneumonia. The doctor said it was lucky they brought him to the hospital because it was pretty severe. Dean woke up in his hospital room, but Sam and Cas weren't there. Dean jumped when a nurse walked in.

"Sorry to startle you, James right?" She said. Dean wasn't sure what alias Sam told them.

"Uh.. yeah" Dean said, following with a thick coughing fit. The nurse turned up his oxygen.

"Hopefully that helps.. you have pneumonia, you're on a antibiotic that should cure it"

"Thanks, how long have I been here?" Dean asked the nurse while he rubbed the back of his neck. She checked his clipboard and flipped through the papers.

"It says you were brought in yesterday morning, unconscious with a fever of _106°F_ "

"Oh ok, um could I borrow a phone please?" Dean asked.

"There's one beside the bed you are free to use whenever you'd like" she said.

"I have to run some more treatment in your IV, it's going to make you drowsy" She said. Dean just nodded, she injected a syringe into his IV tube, and gave him the medication.

"Push the call button if you need anything, sweetheart" She said. After that she left the room. Dean grabbed the phone beside his bed and dialed Sam's number.

"This is Sam Winchester" Sam said.

"Sammy" Dean said quietly into the phone.

"Dean? You're up! How are you uh.. feeling?" Sam said, something seemed off.

"Like I was hit with a bus, where are you and Cas?" Dean asked Sam.

"Cas had to go get some things from the bunker, and um.. I'll be there soon as I can"

"Sam are you ok?" Dean was getting worried, Sam wasn't talking much.

"Yeah, uh I'll see you later Dean, feel better" Sam said, then hung up. Dean felt himself starting to drift from his medicine, soon after he fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Congratulations! You're having twins" The doctor said to Sam and Eileen. They were dating in secret for a few months, and Sam never got the chance to tell Dean and now Eileen was pregnant... with his baby.. wait no, _babies_. He got a call from Eileen after Dean was admitted into the hospital and she told him she was pregnant. He left to attend their first ultrasound.

"Twins?" Eileen said. Sam looked at her, tears in his eyes and kissed her.

"Oh my god, we're having twins!" Sam said happily. 

"Would you like to know the gender?" The doctor asked.

"Do you want to?" Sam said while simultaneously signing it.

"I want it to be a surprise" she said and signed. Sam nodded.

"Me too." He agreed. The doctor nodded handed them photos.

"Ok that's all then, you're free to leave once you change and grab your stuff." The doctor announced to the couple and left the room.

"I think this one looks like you" Eileen said, Sam laughed.

"I love them already" Sam said then he kissed Eileen again.

"Does Dean know yet?" Eileen asked Sam, he hadn't told her about Dean being sick.

"No, before you called Cas and I had to.. uh take him to the hospital. He got sick, they diagnosed him with pneumonia" Sam said sadly.

"I'm so sorry, let's go to the hospital and make sure he's ok" Eileen told Sam. They left the clinic and drove back to the hospital together. Sam wanted to be happy with the amazing news he just learned, but Dean was sick, and could get _worse_ , or could even _die_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Dean is sick, and has hallucinations of his previous torture in hell.
> 
> NOTES: Hopefully you liked this chapter sorry I couldn’t post it sooner, like always comments are appreciated!! Please leave kudos :)
> 
> Next update: November 18th


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you like the chapter! Trying to post more frequently now!

~~~TW AND NOTES AT BOTTOM~~~

  
When Dean woke up again Castiel was sitting on the chair that was facing the window. He looked way older than normal, and his eyes were red like he had been crying.

"Cas?" Dean croaked, then suddenly started gasping for air. It felt like he was drowning and he fought back the urge to cough. Castiel, suddenly aware that Dean was awake, rushed to his side.

"Dean, y-you're up!" Castiel shouted, Dean's breathing started to become more labored and he started to choke. Castiel pushed the help button and tried to get Dean to calm down, this was _not_ the time to have a panic attack.

"The nurse will be here any minute Dean, just try to breath, okay. Breathe in... out" Cas said and Dean followed the angel's breaths. A nurse came in and adjusted the machine quickly, making his oxygen a higher level. He started to breathe better but his lungs felt like they were burning from the inside.

"T-Thank you" Dean said to the nurse, his voice was scratchy and weak. The nurse checked the machines and left. Castiel pulled the chair to the side of the bed. He held Dean's hand.

"I-I thought I lost you Dean" Cas said, tears forming in his eyes.

"What happened? The nurse told me I have pneumonia, but that's really all I know"

"What do you remember?" Castiel asked Dean while wiping the tears from his red cheeks.

"I remember waking up, feeling like crap.. then you went to the store to get some medicine" Dean said.

"When I came back from the store, you were a lot worse. You had a high fever and started to hallucinate, Sam and I took you to the hospital. Y-You wouldn't wake up once we got here, I carried you in.. then they diagnosed you with a severe case of pneumonia. Once they got you a room and started your medication, I went back to the bunker to get some of our stuff since they said we'd be here for a couple weeks for your treatment. Wh-When I.. came back you were doing okay, then you.. you stopped breathing, they had to save.. save y-you" Castiel started sobbing loudly.

"I-I couldn't heal y-you, I was us-useless" Castiel said in between cries. Dean placed his hand on the angel's, and Cas leaned in and kissed Dean's forehead.

"I'm okay now, I won't _ever_ leave you.. I promise my love" Dean said to Castiel.

"Sam s-should be here anytime now" Castiel wiped his tears and tried to calm down.

"Where'd he go anyways?" Dean still had no idea why Sam wasn't there.

"He, uh will tell you when he gets here" Castiel said nervously to Dean.

"Okay... I'm starving you think I could get something to eat?"

"Oh course Dean, I will go to the cafeteria and get you whatever you'd like"

"Just get me whatever, and see if they have pie" Dean said with a weak smile on his face. Castiel left the room and went to the cafeteria. Cas got Dean a bacon cheeseburger and apple pie, his favorite. On the way back to Dean's room he ran into Sam and Eileen.

"Dean, thank god you're okay" Sam said, he walked over and hugged his brother.

"Where were you Sam, is everything alright?" Dean said with concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. We will talk about it later, how are you?"

"My lungs feel like they're on fire, and I have a migraine, but I'm alive" Dean coughed.

"Here honey, I got your food" Cas told Dean and kissed his head. Eileen walked in.

"Eileen, I didn't know you were coming" Dean said weakly.

"Of course, I had to make sure you were okay" Eileen signed while she spoke. Dean painted a small smile on his face and shoved a forkful of pie in his mouth.

Dean ate and they talked about his treatment with Doctor Monroe. He was going to be in the hospital for at least two weeks and was going to be on a ventilator for three, _minimum_. They still hadn't figured out why Castiel's and the other's powers weren't working but they were pretty sure that John had something to do with it. Doctor Monroe left.

"Dean, we have something to tell you"

"We?" Dean questioned and Sam and Eileen responded by showing Dean her engagement ring.

"Really? Congrats! I knew you two had a thing" Dean looked happier than he's been all day, Sam reached into his pocket and handed Dean two photos. Dean's looked at them and his jaw dropped, tears filled his eyes. As tears fell down his face he had a huge smile.

"Your- I-I'm going to be an uncle!!" Dean shouted,(well tried to shout but it ended up being a squeaky quiet voice), but his face, regardless of how sick he looked and was, had pure joy on it.

"Wait there's two, is- are you guys having twi-"

"TWINS!!" Eileen and Sam interrupt happily. More tears fell down Dean's eyes, and Sam was crying too.

"Cas, you're going to be an uncle too!" Sam said, Cas was awkwardly sitting on the chair in the corner of the room and Sam felt guilty he left him out of this, he was his brother-in-law and he would be the uncle of their children too. Cas got up and hugged Sam, he even started to cry a little. They were overjoyed by the gift and almost forgot that Dean was sick.. _almost_ but Dean started coughing again, he felt a sudden sharp pain in his chest and his teeth chattered madly as he struggled to breathe, each inhale catching in his throat and in his chest. It felt like a semi was crushing his lungs and wouldn't allow him to take in a single breath. It was more than nerve racking and all he could do was lay there, _frozen_ in terror. He pushed the call button as he fought for air, Sam ran to get a nurse and his vision grew darker, he could only focus on the growing burn in his chest, he felt like he was drowning. He shook violently and tried to get air into his body, but even with his ventilator, _he couldn't._ The darkness in is vision took over. Everyone thought Dean was going to die. He couldn't, he fights monsters, bends the rules, how could something so simple, pneumonia for god's sake, kill him? Sam ran back in with a few nurses and they made everyone leave the room. Eileen and Sam were crying, but Castiel, he was hysterical. A sobbing and shaky mess. If he _lost_ Dean, he couldn't go on.. he would rather _die_.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean woke up in a different room. It was smaller, darker. It had no windows. He had a ventilator, this one was not just a tube in his nose, it was covering his whole lower face. He had more IVs in his hand and wrist. _Where was everybody? Sharp pain, lungs burning, drowning, black._ That's all Dean could remember. He still felt like coughing his lungs up, but he was breathing (with the help of a machine), but still. Dean thought he was going to die. He finally was happy, he married Cas, and that was all being taken away from him. He had to hold on, not only for Sam and Cas, but for Eileen, his future sister-in-law and his nieces or nephews. Dean tried to get a better look at the room he was in. By the looks of it, he assumed he was in ICU. No one was there. The only sound was the quiet noises of his machines. He sat alone in the sad hospital room. He wondered where Cas was. He decided to pray, since no one was coming into his room, and it wasn't an emergency so he couldn't push the call button. _Cas? Hey.. I'm uh- I'm awake. Where are you guys? I-I hope you're okay._ Dean prayed. A few minutes later the door opened. It was just a nurse. _Maybe Cas didn't hear his prayer, his powers were acting up.. what if he was hurt?_ Dean was pulled out of his thoughts by the nurse's voice.

"James? Can you hear me?" She said softly. Dean just replied with a careful nod. She put something through his IV, so he looked at his wrist. She understood.

"It's just to help you relax, dear" he shot her a questioning look. He was scared to talk, because he didn't want to feel like he was suffocating once again.

"We thought you just had a simple case of pneumonia, but after your lung collapsed.. we did some tests a found out that you have empyema." She explained to him. His eyes grew _wide. That sounds serious, what's that supposed to even mean?_ He thought.

"It's when pus gathers in the area between the lungs and the inner surface of the chest wall."

Dean knew that couldn't be any good. Why did he have this? He never gets sick.

"Having bronchiectasis, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, rheumatoid arthritis, _alcoholism_ , diabetes, a weakened immune system, surgery or recent trauma, or lung abscesses makes you more vulnerable to getting it" She explained to him. Dean's stomach dropped. _Alcoholism._ He used to be what he called 'a functional alcoholic', but once Cas and him married he drank a lot less. Could this be all my fault? He thought.

He decided to ask where his husband was.

"W-Where.. is m-my husband?" Dean said sickly, it hurt like hell to talk.

"You will be able to have visitors after your surgery" _Wait did she say surgery?_

"S-Surgery?" Dean questioned nervously.

"When you were admitted, we didn't know you had empyema, so the infection continued to get worse, it leaded to the formation of a thick peel over the pleura, called a pleural peel. This peel prevented your lungs from expanding, then one of your lungs collapsed. Surgery is required to fix it." She explained to him. Dean nodded in response. He just really wanted to see Castiel, and he for sure didn't want surgery.. but he needed to... for his family.

"The first surgery is called a thoracostomy. In this procedure, the surgeon will insert a plastic tube into your chest between two ribs. Then they'll connect the tube to a suction device and remove the fluid. If needed they may also inject medication to help drain the fluid." She said.

 _That sounds painful..wait did she say first?!_ Dean thought. He was starting to grow more nervous.

"The second one is decortication. It's performed under general anaesthesia. It is a major thoracic operation that normally requires a full thoracotomy." She said.

Dean didn't even want to know what a thor- something was. He just nodded.

"W-When?" He asked.

"Your surgery is scheduled for.." she looked at his clipboard. "5:00am" she said. Dean looked at the clock and realized it was 3:42am. He wanted to get more sleep before his surgery. After talking over his surgeries a bit more, the nurse finally left. Dean finally got to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean slept for what felt like five minutes. He closed his eyes then next thing he knew he was being woken up by a nurse. He had blonde hair and blue eyes, they weren't nearly as bright as Castiel's but they were similar. This made him feel more calm about his coming surgeries, but he really wished it was Cas.

"Dean right?" He said. Dean nodded.

"Okay, my name is Brian I'm the head nurse in the ICU. You will be going to the operating room soon, so I'm going to start your anesthesia."Brian said, then gave him a shot in his right arm. Almost _immediately_ after Dean felt his eyelids grow heavy. He struggled to keep them from closing, then ultimately lost the battle, and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Injury, Dean is sick, mentioned surgery, pain, and hospital.
> 
> Notes: Hope you enjoyed!! I tried my best to do research on the medical stuff, sorry if I got something wrong. Please leave kudos!! Comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Thanks for reading this chapter :)
> 
> Next update: December 1st


	7. Chapter 7

Soon after they drugged Dean and he had fell back asleep they took him into surgery. Castiel, Sam, and Eileen were still at the hospital. They didn't know Dean went in to surgery yet, all they knew was his lung collapsed. Sam's phone was ringing. It was his mom. He totally forgot to call her back because he was focused on other things.. Dean having pneumonia, Eileen being pregnant, and now Dean's lung collapsed. He hesitated, then answered the phone.

"Hey mom, I forgot to call you.. sorry" Sam said.

"Sam, how's Dean?" Mary said with a tone worry in her voice.

"They diagnosed him with pneumonia.. he was doing alright then he got worse. His lung collapsed and they put him in the ICU, I haven't got to see him yet" Sam said.

"I'm coming to the hospital. Oh and John woke up, he hasn't done anything yet but the others will keep an eye on him.. Jack wants to come is that okay?" Mary said.

"Yeah that's fine, call me when you guys get here" Sam said. He saw a doctor walk over to Cas so he hung up. Castiel looked even more upset now. Not a good sign. Sam thought. He walked over to the doctor and Cas.

"He will be out of surgery in about four hours, you can see him shortly after." The doctor said. She extended her hand to Sam, then shook his hand.

"Dr. Clever" she said and released his hand.

"Tanner, I'm James' brother." They decided to use alias since they were gonna be their for a few weeks and didn't want anyone to realize who they were.

"Did you say surgery?" Sam questioned hesitantly.

"Yes, your brother is having two surgeries. He has empyema, and needed to have a thoracostomy and decortication." She said. Then she told Sam and Cas all the details about Dean's surgeries and his recovery.

"He will be in the hospital for three weeks after his surgery, then if all goes well he will be discharged to finish recovery at home. He will require a nasal cannula for a few months, we will prescribe a strong pain medication and no intense activity for a while. Is there someone that can stay home to take care of him while he heals?" She said.

"Yes, that's not a problem." Sam told her. Sam knew Cas will be there for Dean and make sure he recovers well, and has everything he needs. After talking some more, she let them wait in Dean's room until he came back from his surgery. Of course Sam being Sam, he researched down to the last detail of Dean's surgeries and what would be best for his recovery. He was obsessing so much he didn't even hear his phone ring, or when Castiel answered it because he wouldn't.. Next thing he knew Cas came back with Mary and Jack.

"Sam.. Mary and Jack are here.. do you hear me? Sam!" Cas finally got Sam's attention.

"Uhm.. What? Oh sorry, hey guys.. sorry I was reading an article about thoracotomies"

"Thora- what?" Mary said, with a puzzled look on her face.

"Thoracotomy" Sam says. Mary still looks just as confused.

"It's one of the surgeries that Dean is having, I thought it was best to do some research on the recovery so we can make the bunker more comfortable for him" Sam explains.

"Surgery?" Mary asked. Sam nodded sadly.

"They said he has empyema, and he needed two surgeries. He should be out in a few hours." Sam said. There was a pause, Mary opened her mouth then shut it again.

"John apologized.. he said he wanted to see Dean and tell him he's sorry in person" she said.

"I don't think he should come see Dean, especially after surgery.. he will be all loopy on the drugs they gave him and we don't know what will happen" Sam said, Cas nodded in agreement. Jack hasn't said one word since they arrived, then Sam _realized_. Jack was sitting in the corner of the room, clutching one of Dean's jackets quietly crying. His heart broke.

"Jack it's okay. Dean will be fine, it's okay" Sam said. He wasn't sure if he was saying this to make Jack feel better or himself. He read about the complications to Dean's surgeries and was worried, what if something happened.. and the worse part is none of them could help it.

"No it's not! Dad is hurt and I can't help him" Jack cried.

"None of us can, but what we can do is be there for him" Castiel said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5 hours later

Dean's surgery was over, and he was about to be moved back into his room where Cas, Sam, Mary, Jack, Benny, and Crowley were waiting. Benny and Crowley insisted on coming to see Dean since they were his best friends. Rowena and Gabriel stayed with John in the bunker so that Dean wouldn't be overwhelmed by all the company, plus John shouldn't be near anywhere Dean. Everybody was anxiously waiting for Dean to come back. He probably wouldn't wake up for another few hours, but they needed to know he was okay. Dr. Clever came into the room, pushing Dean on his hospital bed.

"Wow, Dean has a full house here" she said. Everyone just nodded cautiously.

"His surgeries were successful and he has two chest tubes to help with drainage, and he will have a catheter for forty-eight hours."

"How painful is the recovery going to be?" Castiel asked.

"He is going to be in a good amount of pain in the first week, but he will have medicine to help" Dr. Clever said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean slowly came to, and he looked at his surroundings. When he awoke, he was aware of tubes, lights, beeping, and then of a large shape jumping up from the chair next to the bed.

"C-Cas" Dean rasped out. Castiel hugged him the best he possibly could. Dean coughed

"S-sorry, I- I.. do you want me to get the doctor?" Castiel said nervously.

"Where's S'mmy?" Dean slurred.

"Everyone but Gabe and Rowena have been in the waiting room until you wake up" Cas said.

"H-Hurts" Dean whispered.

"I'll go get the doctor and tell him you're awake" Cas said and exited the room. He told Dr. Clever, then went to the waiting room, and everyone got up in an instant.

"Is he up?" Mary asked

"Yes, he asked for Sam. Everyone can see him soon, I just don't want him to be overwhelmed, you know how he doesn't like to be the center of attention or taken care of."

"Okay, let's go to his room Cas" Sam said. They walked back to his room and Dr. Clever was adjusting his bed so he was in a half sitting position.

"How's your pain on a one to ten, Dean?" She asked.

"S-Six, maybe seven" he said quietly, like he was ashamed or something.

"You have a PCA device which is a patient-controlled analgesia. The PCA device allows you to give yourself pain medication when you need it." She said. Dean nodded, and pushed the button on the device to eased his pain.

"What are the things on my legs doc?" Dean said while looking at his legs.

"They are compression boots to help your blood flow. We can take them off when you're able to walk." She said.

"How are you feeling honey?" Cas said while intertwining his fingers in Dean's.

"Well let's see.. I have a tube in my dick, another two in my chest and it hurts to breathe, but other than that, peachy" Dean said with sass. Castiel frowned.

"Do you want me to get you some food? I can go to a diner or something, so you don't have to eat the hospital food, I can get pie" Sam said.

"Not hungry, tired" Dean said back, this worried them because it wasn't like Dean to turn down pie, his medicine was clearly making him fall asleep, and he just had surgery. They watch Dean's eyelids flutter as he tried to stay awake.

"You can sleep if you're tired, Dean" Sam said. Dean nodded, and Cas gave him a chaste kiss.

"Love you, honey. Tell me if you are hurting or need anything"

Dean lazily nodded and closed his eyes.

Castiel and Sam sat down and watched over Dean to make sure he slept okay.

Sam got a call from Rowena, _now what_ he thought to himself, and answered.

"What is it Rowena?" He said quietly, trying to not wake Dean.

"He's gone" she said.

"Who is?" He replied

"John."

_**John's POV** _

Everyone left the 'bunker' because apparently Dean was sick. A weak, pathetic, little bitch who couldn't deal with a stupid cold. Unfortunately they didn't leave me alone, but I could deal. I cut my hand, then painted a sigil on the wall beside me. When the so called 'archangel' came into the room with a tray of food for me, I blasted him away. Now for the witch... she was sitting on a couch reading. I punched her in the jaw before she even knew I was there, knocking her out. I gathered my stuff, along with a few important items. I met in the chosen place, with the demon I've been working with. He said if I got him Dean Winchester, I could leave the pit. I agreed since I needed to get out of there, it's been more than a thousand years.. and Dean was weak, he started the apocalypse because he couldn't take some torturing, he climbed off that rack and was worse than the things we hunt, he didn't follow my orders to kill Sam if he went dark, which he did. Everyone downstairs talked about the boy with the demon blood, freeing Lucifer from the cage. I knew it was Sam, Dean had to pay for this. It was all. his. fault. Alistair wasn't at the warehouse yet, and I hope he won't be infuriated that I don't have Dean yet, but I knew exactly where he was.. he could easily take Dean from the hospital.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alastair showed up a few minutes later. I gave him the angel and demon tablet that he asked for, along with a few other books and stuff, then told him the hospital address, and Dean's room number. I warned him that his monster friends were there. Like he promised.. Sam, Mary, and I could be a family again. Sure they'd be upset over Dean for a while, but if it comes to it I will use the memory spell Alastair gave me. No matter what I will have my family back, _without Dean._

_______________________________


	8. Chapter 8

_Alastair showed up a few minutes later. I gave him the angel and demon tablet that he asked for, along with a few other books and stuff, then told him the hospital address, and Dean's room number. I warned him that his monster friends were there. Like he promised.. Sam, Mary, and I could be a family again. Sure they'd be upset over Dean for a while, but if it comes to it I will use the memory spell Alastair gave me. No matter what I will have my family back, without Dean._

**6 days later**

"Dean, you need to sit up for your daily evaluation" a male nurse said.

"Whatever you say sweetheart" Dean smirked, he was tired of being in the hospital and the only joy he got was annoying the staff. Cas rolled his eyes and the nurse faked a smile.

"Pain from one to ten?" He said

"Four" Dean replied

"Any itching or redness on your incisions?"

"Nope" Dean said with snark.

"Ok.. and are you feeling any tightness or congestion in your chest?"

"Not much"

"Okay, that's all" he said then left the room.

"See ya" Dean said and winked. Even though Castiel knew Dean was all his, he still was jealous. Dean liked to see Cas all protective and jealous, because it was hot.

"Ugh, I just wanna get out of here" Dean said and frowned. Then Castiel looked like a lightbulb lit up above his head.

"I will be back, love" Castiel said then disappeared.

While Castiel was gone Dean just played on his phone and watched Dr. Sexy MD. He wondered what his husband was up to. Cas wasn't back yet so he decided to take a nap. He drifted to sleep with the quiet sound of tv.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Dean woke up he was somewhere else. The bed was larger and way more comfortable, and the room was dimly lit and it didn't look like a hospital. He still had his oxygen cannula and IVs, plus those horrible chest tubes.

"Cas?" Dean rasped. He was so confused. The door swung opened, and Castiel was there.

"Hey, Dean are you feeling alright?" Cas asked.

"Yeah, where are we?" Dean said.

"Home" Cas said simply.

"What do you mean?" Dean questioned.

"We fixed up a spare room in the bunker for you, so you don't have to be in the hospital anymore" Castiel told Dean.

"Thanks, babe. I hated that place" Dean said and kissed Castiel's hand.

"Any luck finding John?" Dean asked, Castiel frowned and shook his head.

"No. He's warded himself from angels, demons, and everything else." Castiel explained.

"So basically you're saying there's no way to find him" Dean said.

"Basically.." Castiel said, quieter.

"Can you lay with me?" Dean whispered. Castiel took off his trench coat and walked to the side of Dean's bed. Dean moved over a little to make room for Cas. They cuddled and talked until Dean fell asleep in Cas' arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Dean woke up he heard fighting outside his room. He tried to blink the sleep from his eyes and figure out what was going on.

He got up from his and Cas' shared bed, wincing from the tightness around his stitches. He grabbed his gun and limped over to the door, carefully opening it. He saw bodies on the ground, luckily he didn't recognize any of them. As he walked the sounds of fighting got closer. When he went into the library, he saw his husband and... no.. how could it be him?

He saw Alistair.

Castiel must've heard him gasped because he turned around with eyes widened in fear.

"Dean, stay back" Castiel said while turning back towards Alistair.

They fought each other, until Castiel got the upper hand and stabbed him in the chest. Alistair had a flickering glow come from him and he fell limp to the ground. Blood pooled around his corpse.

"C-Cas, are you ok?" Dean asked while limping over to the angel. His pain was growing worse the more he moved around.

"Yes" Castiel said, touching two fingers to Dean's head. All of his pain vanished.

"Alistair had a spell on everyone so we were unable to heal ourselves or anyone else. Now that he's dead, the spell is as well"

"Where's everyone else?" Dean asked nervously.

"They were taking care of the other demons, lets go find them" Castiel said. Dean nodded and they both went around the bunker looking for the others.

Dean walked back into their room and found John, his father, on the floor with multiple deep gashes. They were bleeding profusely and he was looking up at the ceiling into nothing.

John Winchester was dead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that night, they all moved out of the bunker. They passed it down to the next generation of hunters and moved into a large farmhouse. Sam and Eileen got married, and they ended up having a boy and girl, Henry and Maura. They asked Chuck for one last favor, he turned Castiel into a human so that him and Dean could grow old together and have their own heaven together once they passed away. Sam went back to law school and became a lawyer. Dean opened up his own garage and rebuilt classic cars and Castiel worked at a bee farm. All of them grew old together and got to have a normal life.

They were happy.


End file.
